Help

This is a hard post for me to write because I am going to be bluntly honest with everyone for a few minutes. Alright, for those of you who REALLY know me, you know that in the past I have had issues with dependence on other people and anger with those people when I wasn't able to depend on them all the time. I have also had problems simply listening to people and doing what they say when I am angry. I realize that these things are true now, and I am in the process of getting on the right track with my life. I desperately want God to change my heart and my life, and I know He is going to. As a step in the right direction, I will be moving to Corpus Christi, Texas at the end of next week to enroll myself in the Jubilee Women's Home based of of the Roloff home for men there in Corpus Christi. While in this home for 9 months, I will not have access to either internet of my cell phone, so if you text me and I don't text back, you will know why. This is going to be a hard transition for me, and the main reason I am telling people this is because I am going to need your prayers. I need God. I need Him to change me and grow me spiritually. Please pray for me that I would 1.) Submit myself to God and allow Him to change me, and 2.) Really learn what it means to serve. I know God is going to do a lot, and I am excited, but I am also nervous, so I would appreciate the prayers. Thank you all so much!! ~ Stephanie ~ *Phil. 3:13-14*

Bible College Scholarship!!

Going to a Bible College is expensive. On top of that, finding a scholarship can be really difficult. That's why I was so excited to find the Bible College Scholarship website today. Not only are they giving away a $1,000.00 scholarship and a digital theological library, all I had to do to apply was watch a short video and answer a few questions! It took less than 15 minutes. What is best of all is that if you're in Bible College and apply for the Bible College Scholarship, and put my name as the person who referred you, if you win the scholarship, so do I! We could both get a $1,000.00 scholarship and digital theological library. So, do us both a favor and go apply for the Bible College Scholarship today. ~ Stephanie ~ *Phil. 3:13-14*

Love

Wow! Again, it has been a long time since I posted! This time, however, my lack of posting is not due to a lack of time or a busy schedule, but rather just the lack of knowing how to describe everything I am learning and feeling lately!
In the past couple of weeks God has been showing me a lot about my lack of love for Him in comparison to His infinite love for me. I say I love Him, but do I really? How do I show that I love Him? Well, really, the answer to this question is quite simple. If I truly do love Him, I show that love for Him by obeying Him and by loving others (John 14:15). Oh man. This has hit me hard. I do not love others as much as I should. I say that I love other people, but in my actions and responses, I really don't. I show by the way that I act towards people and by the things that I say to people whether or not I truly love them, and most of the time, I betray myself and my true heart. That hurts. I want to love others. I want to be more like Christ and love like He loves, but I definitely do not! I cannot love that way. Not in my own strength and ability, at least. I have to allow Christ to reign in and through me and love others through me. THAT is the ONLY way that I can possibly fulfill the second great commandment to love others as myself. Well, just some thoughts I have been musing and wanted to share! Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!!

Life

Why is it that some people struggle so much while other people tend to simply go through life and not struggle one little bit? I have had this question on my mind for some time. Any ideas? :)

"Lord, Change my Heart"

"Lord, change my heart from deep within;
purify me once again;
renew my mind to love Your truth;
make me more and more like You!
Lord, cause my will to choose Your ways
in each temptation that I face;
until Your glory's shining through,
make me more and more like You!
More and more like You;
more and more like You!
Do whatever You must do
to make me more and more like You!
Lord, now I rest in Your great love,
secure in Your own righteousness,
because Your Spirit's work of grace
makes me more and more like You!
More and more like You;
more and more like You!
Do whatever You must do
to make me more and more like You! "

This song has been the prayer of my heart for the past few days. God has been working in my heart on several levels, and I would like to take a few minutes to share some of what the Lord has been teaching me.

1. The first thing He has been teaching me has been about my love and His love for me. First, my love: for Him, and for those around me. I have been SO convicted on many levels over my love for my Lord and for my brothers and sisters in Christ. One verse that has challenged me has been 2 Corinthians 5:14 - "For the love of Christ constraineth us; because we thus judge, that if one died for all, then were all dead:" I have been challenged to make this verse a daily prayer in my life. If the love of Christ for me is controlling me, then everything I do will be done out of love for Him. If God's love for me is controlling me, then ministry will not be a burden, but a blessing; a means of showing that love to other people. I have also been impressed with God's love for me. God's love for me is so great that it caused Him to send His Son to die for my sins; it is so great that nothing can EVER separate me from it; it is so great that it surpasses any sin that I can commit and loves me in spite of myself! What an intense love!!


2. The second thing that God has been teaching me is on the level of my heart. So many times I say the right things on the outside in response to my circumstances or to the people in my life, but in my heart I feel so differently. I say that God is good and loves me and has a good plan for what I am going through, but on the inside I am thinking "how could God allow things to come into my life that hurt me if He really loves me," and "God isn't good because the things He brings into my life are not good!" The problem I face is my definition of good and of love. My definition of good based on those two statements is "whatever makes me feel good or doesn't hurt," when in reality, GOD'S definition of good, which is the only one that matters, is "whatever makes me more like Christ and brings God the most glory." My definition of love is "not hurting me; giving me what I want," when in reality, God's definition of love is "giving me what I need; chastening me when I need it; doing what is best for me, not necessarily what I want." God has been teaching me that I need to look at my circumstances through His perspective rather than mine. My perspective is so messed up because of sin, so I do not always see things very clearly. It is like my vision being blurry, and God gives me a pair of glasses so that I can see clearly, and I choose not to use them. That pair of glasses is His Word. His Word shows me who God is, and THAT is what I need to base my view of life on. When I try to look at life through my perspective, I will never see the goodness of God, but rather, I will see a God who is unloving and who is trying to hurt me.


Well, these are just a couple of things I have been learning lately, and I hope they can be a blessing to you all who read this post! If there is ever anything you want to talk about or any way I can be praying for any of you, email me at stephanie.nielsen@ni.edu or facebook message me!

"Love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my ALL!"

Time

Hey! Sorry it has been so long since I have updated you all with how the Lord has been working in my heart and life this summer! Since my last post, SO many things have happened, some good, and some maybe not so much. In general, I have just been REALLY busy! 

I cannot believe that the summer is over half-way done! I feel like it just started a few days ago! Time flies by so incredibly fast! In the past two and a half months, the Lord has really been breaking me of a lot of things. He has been revealing tendencies in my heart that I didn't even know were there, idols that I had no idea were even idols, and things in my life in general that are not Christlike. It is so hard for me, sometimes, when I am shown an area of my life that does not measure up to God's standards, to simply submit and surrender that area to Him and allow Him to change me and make me more Christlike. I have realized this summer more than ever that I have such a skewed view of God! So often I go through life thinking that my view of Him is fine, but my reactions to circumstances that He brings into my life show that, in reality, my perception of God is WAY off. I know all the right things to say and the right things to do. I know the answers. I was taught well by so many loving and patient individuals. But my focus is not where it should be. When I am going through a trial, I don't turn my gaze and focus on my amazing and loving Savior who brought the circumstance into my life. Instead, I tend to keep my focus on the circumstance and on myself. 

All this to say, the Lord has been hitting me hard this summer with my obvious lack of trust. When trials come into our lives, they are designed by my all-knowing, loving Creator God who would NEVER do anything to me simply to cause me pain. He brings these things to show me my heart and to change that heart to be more like the heart of His Son, Jesus Christ. God is good. He IS good. HE IS GOOD! I know this so well! I have told myself this and so many other truths about God so many times! But when it comes down to crunch time, I forget...or rather I refuse to believe. I refuse to stand fast to what I KNOW to be true simply because it doesn't make sense to ME. How dumb! How foolish of me, a small, insignificant creation, to look at what my magnificent maker is doing in my life and say "this doesn't make sense. You are doing it wrong!" I have been SO convicted especially this past week over my lack of trust and my pride in thinking that I know better than my GOD, Who MADE me, Who SAVED me from my sin, Who LOVES me, and Who knows EVERYTHING. I think I know better than Him? How could I? He is SO much higher than I! He is perfect, and His plan is perfect, and even if it may not make sense to my puny little mind, His mind is WAY higher than mine and it makes perfect sense to Him! Wow. I am so overwhelmed by God's goodness to me and His patience with me. I fail Him so many times, but He is still right at the same place waiting for me to realize my failure, confess it to Him, and come back to Him. What a GOOD GOD! What a LOVING God! What a Savior!