Life

Why is it that some people struggle so much while other people tend to simply go through life and not struggle one little bit? I have had this question on my mind for some time. Any ideas? :)

"Lord, Change my Heart"

"Lord, change my heart from deep within;
purify me once again;
renew my mind to love Your truth;
make me more and more like You!
Lord, cause my will to choose Your ways
in each temptation that I face;
until Your glory's shining through,
make me more and more like You!
More and more like You;
more and more like You!
Do whatever You must do
to make me more and more like You!
Lord, now I rest in Your great love,
secure in Your own righteousness,
because Your Spirit's work of grace
makes me more and more like You!
More and more like You;
more and more like You!
Do whatever You must do
to make me more and more like You! "

This song has been the prayer of my heart for the past few days. God has been working in my heart on several levels, and I would like to take a few minutes to share some of what the Lord has been teaching me.

1. The first thing He has been teaching me has been about my love and His love for me. First, my love: for Him, and for those around me. I have been SO convicted on many levels over my love for my Lord and for my brothers and sisters in Christ. One verse that has challenged me has been 2 Corinthians 5:14 - "For the love of Christ constraineth us; because we thus judge, that if one died for all, then were all dead:" I have been challenged to make this verse a daily prayer in my life. If the love of Christ for me is controlling me, then everything I do will be done out of love for Him. If God's love for me is controlling me, then ministry will not be a burden, but a blessing; a means of showing that love to other people. I have also been impressed with God's love for me. God's love for me is so great that it caused Him to send His Son to die for my sins; it is so great that nothing can EVER separate me from it; it is so great that it surpasses any sin that I can commit and loves me in spite of myself! What an intense love!!


2. The second thing that God has been teaching me is on the level of my heart. So many times I say the right things on the outside in response to my circumstances or to the people in my life, but in my heart I feel so differently. I say that God is good and loves me and has a good plan for what I am going through, but on the inside I am thinking "how could God allow things to come into my life that hurt me if He really loves me," and "God isn't good because the things He brings into my life are not good!" The problem I face is my definition of good and of love. My definition of good based on those two statements is "whatever makes me feel good or doesn't hurt," when in reality, GOD'S definition of good, which is the only one that matters, is "whatever makes me more like Christ and brings God the most glory." My definition of love is "not hurting me; giving me what I want," when in reality, God's definition of love is "giving me what I need; chastening me when I need it; doing what is best for me, not necessarily what I want." God has been teaching me that I need to look at my circumstances through His perspective rather than mine. My perspective is so messed up because of sin, so I do not always see things very clearly. It is like my vision being blurry, and God gives me a pair of glasses so that I can see clearly, and I choose not to use them. That pair of glasses is His Word. His Word shows me who God is, and THAT is what I need to base my view of life on. When I try to look at life through my perspective, I will never see the goodness of God, but rather, I will see a God who is unloving and who is trying to hurt me.


Well, these are just a couple of things I have been learning lately, and I hope they can be a blessing to you all who read this post! If there is ever anything you want to talk about or any way I can be praying for any of you, email me at stephanie.nielsen@ni.edu or facebook message me!

"Love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my ALL!"

Time

Hey! Sorry it has been so long since I have updated you all with how the Lord has been working in my heart and life this summer! Since my last post, SO many things have happened, some good, and some maybe not so much. In general, I have just been REALLY busy! 

I cannot believe that the summer is over half-way done! I feel like it just started a few days ago! Time flies by so incredibly fast! In the past two and a half months, the Lord has really been breaking me of a lot of things. He has been revealing tendencies in my heart that I didn't even know were there, idols that I had no idea were even idols, and things in my life in general that are not Christlike. It is so hard for me, sometimes, when I am shown an area of my life that does not measure up to God's standards, to simply submit and surrender that area to Him and allow Him to change me and make me more Christlike. I have realized this summer more than ever that I have such a skewed view of God! So often I go through life thinking that my view of Him is fine, but my reactions to circumstances that He brings into my life show that, in reality, my perception of God is WAY off. I know all the right things to say and the right things to do. I know the answers. I was taught well by so many loving and patient individuals. But my focus is not where it should be. When I am going through a trial, I don't turn my gaze and focus on my amazing and loving Savior who brought the circumstance into my life. Instead, I tend to keep my focus on the circumstance and on myself. 

All this to say, the Lord has been hitting me hard this summer with my obvious lack of trust. When trials come into our lives, they are designed by my all-knowing, loving Creator God who would NEVER do anything to me simply to cause me pain. He brings these things to show me my heart and to change that heart to be more like the heart of His Son, Jesus Christ. God is good. He IS good. HE IS GOOD! I know this so well! I have told myself this and so many other truths about God so many times! But when it comes down to crunch time, I forget...or rather I refuse to believe. I refuse to stand fast to what I KNOW to be true simply because it doesn't make sense to ME. How dumb! How foolish of me, a small, insignificant creation, to look at what my magnificent maker is doing in my life and say "this doesn't make sense. You are doing it wrong!" I have been SO convicted especially this past week over my lack of trust and my pride in thinking that I know better than my GOD, Who MADE me, Who SAVED me from my sin, Who LOVES me, and Who knows EVERYTHING. I think I know better than Him? How could I? He is SO much higher than I! He is perfect, and His plan is perfect, and even if it may not make sense to my puny little mind, His mind is WAY higher than mine and it makes perfect sense to Him! Wow. I am so overwhelmed by God's goodness to me and His patience with me. I fail Him so many times, but He is still right at the same place waiting for me to realize my failure, confess it to Him, and come back to Him. What a GOOD GOD! What a LOVING God! What a Savior!

Romans 6-8 ~ Wow! What an Amazing God!!

I have been reading, studying, and meditating on Romans 6-8 this week, and it has been such an encourgaement that I felt I just HAD to share it with you all!

Paul ends chapter 5 by talking about how when we sin, God's grace is greater than our sin, and His grace abounds. So then Paul begins chapter 6 by asking, "Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound?" Of course, our answer is obviously no. Paul says that before we became children of God we were slaves to sin and obeyed our sinful passions and lusts; but now that we have been set free from sin, how can we continue to live in sin, no matter what the reason? As children of God, we are set free from sin and also enslaved to a new master: God. But this new master, God, gives us a choice to Him. This is different from our slavery to sin where we were forced to serve sin and to obey Satan: we now have a choice! And what do so many of us (including me) do with that choice? We choose to obey our sinful nature rather than to obey God! How unreasonable and illogical is that? I find myself so many times getting so frustrated with myself because, even though I now have a choice, I still continue to choose the wrong. It is then that I must realize that I have a choice to make NOW. Not a choice two hours ago or even two minutes ago, but a choice now. I have a choice every minute of every day to do right and to obey my new master, and when I make the wrong choice sometimes, I cannot look back and dwell on that wrong choice, but I MUST look at right now and make the choice to obey God right now. I find myself loosing sight of God's forgiveness and often not accepting it even though I have asked earnestly for it. How foolish of me. Anyway, that is enough rambling on that point.

Paul goes on in chapter 6 to explain that we are not to sin because we are not under the law of sin that we were once under, but we are now under grace: God's grace. What a privilege! Then Paul asks another daunting yet convicting question: "Are we to sin because we are not under the law but under grace?" Wow! This is HUGE! I have known and heard so many people who claim to be children of God say that they can do whatever they want and sin however much they please simply because they are under grace. "It's all under grace. I can just ask forgiveness later," they say. But that is not how the Christian life is to be lived! We are not to sin simply because we are already forgiven! One thought that has helped me with this is that Christ died for every sin I committed in the past, every sin I am committing right now in the present, and every sin I will commit in the future. Every sin that I commit helps nail Christ to the cross. Do I REALLY want to add to the list? Christ suffered SO much on the cross just so that I could be a child of God and not spend eternity in Hell. I should be grateful enough to live the life that He has given me for Him. I shouldn't want to live for myself, doing what I want, when I want to do it. I am so guilty of this. I often live in the "whatever Stephanie wants" mode. That is a TERRIBLE life to live! It is so unsatisfying and empty! Only living for Christ really satisfies and gives my life any purpose! I want my life to count for Christ. I want HIM to be glorified in and through my life, not me. Well, this post has suddenly gotten very long, and I have run out of time to finish it. I will consider this part one, and will finish it later!

New Beginnings. . .Old Ways

Over the past couple of days I have been thinking and thinking about how short my spiritual life has been, and yet how much the Lord has shown me and grown me already. I cannot believe it has only and yet already been almost two months! I have been reading through Ephesians, and in the later chapters of the book, Paul talks about the old man and the new man. We are commanded by Paul, in several of his epistles, to "put off the old man," and "put on the new man." This subject has always been a rather difficult one for me to grasp, and it continues to puzzle me. I know what it means to put something off, and I also know what it means to put something on. The key, I believe, is what Paul writes in between these two actions: "by the renewing of your minds." In order to put off anything and put on anything, there has to be a change of mind. We must renew our minds! I must renew MY mind! This is such a huge process for me, one in which I am still struggling to wrap my mind around, but I am continuing every day to learn more and more about what it means to "grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ." Growth hurts, but turns out to be so worth it in the end. Growing and becoming more like Christ brings the most satisfying reward in this entire world: a more sanctified person. I cannot wait until the day when we will eventually be glorified and be just like our great God!

My Amazing God, Found in Psalm 4

I was reading in Psalm 4 this morning, and this chapter, along with so many other psalms is completely filled with truths about our amazing God! This is one reason why I love to read the book of Psalms! Whenever I am struggling with my view of God, I go to the psalms. They are a great resource of encouragement.

Okay. Back to Psalm 4.

He hears my prayers. 

This is the first attribute of God that this psalm points out. God hears my prayers. He will always be there to answer when I call out to Him. Because of this, I should never feel like I cannot come to Him with anything. I should always feel open before Him and willing to come to Him no matter what the struggle, circumstance, or request.

He is trustworthy.

Wow. This attribute of God really hit me hard. If God is worthy of my trust, why don't I trust Him? He has proven Himself over and over again, and there is nothing that He has done that would say anything to the contrary. He IS worthy of my trust, and I can and should trust Him! I fall so short of this! Whenever a circumstance comes into my life that I don't like, I am quick to get upset rather than trusting my Almighty, Sovereign God who has a plan for my life that is absolutely perfect. I really need to grow in this area, and I am praying that the Lord will show me more areas where I fall short of trusting Him.

He is the true joy-giver.

This is another attribute of my Heavenly Father that I so fall short of believing. Because my Heavenly Father is the one true joy-giver, I should run to Him and look to Him to satisfy me and to give me true joy. But so often I run to other people and other things to satisfy me and to bring me joy. I am always trying to satisfy myself with empty things that I know will never satisfy me. In the past two or three days, I have found that God's Word truly does satisfy more than anything else in this entire world. I cannot believe that I have searched all these years in so many different places for something that was sitting right in front of my nose: God. For 18 or 19 years or so, I had searched and searched for something to satisfy me, but in all the wrong places. Not until the end of my second year of college at a Bible college did I finally realize the huge mistake that I had been making and give myself up in surrender to Him.

These are just a few of the several attributes of God that are found in this psalm. In the past several days, I have been so overwhelmed as I look at the psalms and see so many amazing attributes of my great God! I am  so thankful that I have a God who loves me and who is so amazing!

"Love, so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my ALL."