All Things New - A Story PART 3 - Purity Challenge

A Different Message 

“Hey, Guys. Happy Valentines Day!” Her voice is soft but confident.

We all mumble something in reply. Personally I think it’s the dumbest holiday ever created. A day to celebrate love? Look where “love” got me---a broken heart and an arthritic hand from gripping my phone 24 hours a day.

‘My name is Ellie. And tonight I want to talk about love.”

Kelsey and I share a grin. Here we go again.

“I grew up in a youth group a lot like this,” the girl says. “And I know—every year you get to hear someone go on and on about how love is pure, love is patient, and love is kind.”

The guy next to me mumbles a disgruntled amen.

The speaker smiles and continues. “Or maybe how true love waits? Sound familiar?” We all nod our heads. “Or how a guys should treat a girl. How a girl should be Virtuous.”

Yeah, I probably should have taken better notes.

“I don’t want to talk about any of that.” Ellie looks around the room, and for a second I feel her eyes upon me. “All of those things are important, but tonight God laid it on my heart to tell you—you have to love yourself.” She smiles broadly. “How can you love someone else if you don’t even love yourself? There are some of you tonight who don’t like the way you look, the way you act, or maybe you don’t like the way you’ve become. But you know what?”

I find myself leaning in closer.

“God wants to turn your mourning into laughter. He want to trade your shame for joy.” Ellie opens her Bible. “In Isaiah it says he wants to comfort those who mourn. He wants to give you a crown of beauty...Instead of ashes. Beautiful clothes instead of despair.”

I feel a tear slip down my cheek and quickly brush it away. Lady, you don’t know where I’ve been. I don’t really think God wants to give me a pat on the back and a new sparkly, tiara.

“ A long time ago I thought my value was dependent of other people,” Ellie says. “I wanted to please others so badly. I would put everyone else before me---and before God. I wasn’t a bad person. I went to church. I read my Bible. I prayed. But . . . I made mistakes. Can anyone here relate to that at all?”

Me, sister, Right here.

“I got to where I couldn’t even talk to God anymore. I was so disappointed in myself for choices I had made. But you know what? In this same verse, it says that God wants to take away all that despair and ugliness and make us like righteous trees—trees He has planted himself to glorify Him. How cool is that?”

God wants to make me a tree? Um, kinda uncool, actually.

“Do you get it?” Ellie takes the microphone and walks closer to us. “God’s saying, ‘I see that hurt your trying to hide. And I understand. And I’m here to forgive.’ He says, ‘ You know that shame and ugliness you’ve been carrying around? I want to take that off your hands. And in return...Here’s some joy and beauty. Yours for the asking, so you can glorify me.’ “

I clench and unclench the napkin in my hands.

God how is it possible You can see what I’ve done and still just stand there with open arms? I want to give You all this junk. I want my happiness back. I made a huge mistake. But if You’re really willing to take that pain for me, You can totally have it. I don’t want to be the girl that is checking for a stupid guys text every five seconds.

The speaker continues for another 20 minutes, but I just stare toward the floor and finish my one-on-one with God.

Lord, I’m sorry for messing up. Will you forgive me? Thank you for reminding me that You’re going to love me anyway, and I can start new. I don’t want to keep going on like this. You can have my guilt, my tears, my shame. I don’t think I’m going to need them anymore.

Check tomorrow for part 4.....

~ Stephanie ~ 
    *Phil. 3:13-14*