Control

God is good. That is all. I have been realizing this SOO much lately. God is so good to save me from myself and to give me chance after chance after chance to do right and to live for Him. I want to. I want Him to have complete control. That is my heart's desire right here, right now. But this is so often easier said than done. It is easier to say " I want God to have control" than to actually GIVE Him control. I have definitely experienced this in my life. There have been so many times when I have honestly wanted to give God control and to allow Him to control my life; but I haven't. Why not? Why is it so stinking hard to just give up and let Him rule my life? This is still a HUGE question in my life right now, but I think I might be getting closer to the answer, but I am not there yet. All I know for now is that the answer is in His Word and in submitting to it when He shows me something that I need to change. Basically, repentance. Well, these are just some thoughts that have been running through my head lately. Hope they are an encouragement!

I regret the hours I have wasted,
And the pleasures I have tasted
That You were never in.
And I confess that though Your love is in me,
It doesn't always win me
When competing with my sin!

And I repent!
Making no excuses!
I repent!
No one else to blame!
And I return
To fall in love with Jesus!
I bow down on my knees,
And I repent!

I lament the idols I've accepted;
The commandments I've rejected
To pursue my selfish end.
And I confess I need You to revive me;
Put selfishness behind me;
And take up my cross again!

And I repent! 
Making no excuses!
I repent!
No one else to blame!
And I return 
To fall in love with Jesus!
I bow down on my knees,
And I repent!

~ Stephanie ~ 
    *Phil. 3:13-14*

Surrender

In selfishness and pride,

I cling to what is mine.

In stubbornness I hold back things from God.

And at times it seems to me,

That He holds back things from me,

So I try to put things where I clearly see.

And as to my rights I hold,

His soft voice speaks to my soul,

And in brokenness I relinquish all control.

I let Him lead!

Now I hear His voice!

And instead of strife and pride,

Now my will is crucified.

So in full surrender now I've made my choice:

Your will be done

In my life, O Lord.

Now I know I will be blessed,

For my Savior does what's best.

Now I can finally rest.

When I take control from Him,

And drift back into sin;

When I start getting worried and confused,

When I don't understand;

Things aren't going as I planned.

I can put my broken life back in His hands.

He will heal and He'll forgive,

Then in fellowship I'll live,

And with power from me He'll banish Satan's sin.

I let Him lead!

Now I hear His voice!

And instead of strife and pride,

Now my will is crucified.

So in full surrender now I've made my choice:

Your will be done

In my life, O Lord.

Now I know I will be blessed,

For my Savior does what's best.

Now I can finally rest.

This song has been a huge challenge and encouragement to me lately. I have just been realizing more and more that I need to simply let go and let God be God and trust that He DOES indeed have a GOOD plan for my life, and He will work that plan out in my life no matter what it takes. My prayer the past few days has been "Lord, break me. Whatever the cost, whatever the pain, break me." I want to be used by God and I want to be so close to Him that nothing can move me and nothing can cause me to doubt Him. I want to be so in love with Him and so overwhelmed by His love that I can do nothing but respond in humble obedience and love. As Christmas is right around the corner in about five days, I want Christmas this year to be about Him and about His birth, not about me and what I am getting for Christmas. I want to give HIM a gift rather than simply receiving His wonderful gift. After all, it is HIS birthday, not mine. How would I feel if on my birthday, I gave everyone presents and no one gave me anything? I would feel pretty rotten. So why should He be any different? It is His birthday, and He gave us the ultimate gift and we, in response, give everyone else gifts but give nothing to Him! I am so ashamed of myself and of my selfishness. I want to give Him the only thing I CAN give Him--my life!

~ Stephanie ~
    *Phil. 3:13-14*

"I'll be home for Christmas...if only in my dreams!"

This year this song hurts more than ever. I found out this morning that I in fact WON'T be going home for Christmas. Why? Well, plane tickets are too expensive. But really why? Why does God have to keep bringing things into my life that hurt? What is the point? What is He trying to accomplish this time? "Lord, this hurts! Show me what You are trying to do so I can do it and then the pain can stop coming!" This prayer has been running through my mind the past few days. When will the pain stop? I know God is good IN SPITE of the pain, but why can't I see the good? I know that God has a bigger and better plan, but why can't I see it?(Jeremiah 29:11) I know that He works out EVERYTHING for good, but why can't I see that "good?"(Romans 8:28) It is so hard in the midst of painful and difficult circumstances to "rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice."(Philippians 4:4) "YET I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation."(Habakkuk 3:18) I can and I MUST rejoice in the Lord in ALL things, whether "good" or "bad." I can and must TRUST that He does indeed have a plan and that plan is better than my plan. I am an insignificant human, yet my loving God takes thought of me. He loves me and wants me to love and trust Him with my whole heart. Complete and utter dedication and trust is what He desires and requires. Until He has that, He will continue to slowly take things away whether they are big or small, significant or insignificant. He will continue to break me and draw me closer to Himself until He has all of my heart and not just part of it. This is a hard place to be in, but it is SUCH  a wonderful place to be in. In this place, I come to the realization that God indeed never gives up on me. He is still working on me and will continue til the day I die!(Philippians 1:6)

~ Stephanie ~ 
   *Phil. 3:13-14*

All I Have is Christ!

I once was lost in darkest night
and thought I knew the way.
The sin that promised joy and life
had led me to the grave.
I had no hope that You would own
a rebel to Your will.
And if You had not loved me first
I would refuse You still!

But as I ran my hell-bound race
indifferent to the cost,
You looked upon my helpless state
and led me to the cross.
And I beheld God's love displayed:
You suffered in my place,
You bore the wrath reserved for me,
now all I know is grace!

HALLELUIAH!
ALL I HAVE IS CHRIST!
HALLELUIAH!
JESUS IS MY LIFE!

Now Lord, I would be Yours alone,
And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me.
Oh Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose,
And let my song forever be:
"My only boast is You!"

HALLELUIAH!
ALL I HAVE IS CHRIST!
HALLELUIAH!
JESUS IS MY LIFE!

This song has been such a challenge to me lately. My condition before salvation was lost. I was in darkness. I could not please God, I could not do anything worth any merit. "But God, who is rich in mercy, for His great love wherewith He loved us, even when we were dead in sins hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) (Ephesians 2:4-5)." Wow. That is amazing to me. Why God, who is so almighty and powerful and sovereign, would come to die for me and take the punishment for my sin is unfathomable. I cannot and never will understand it. But it happened, and now, by God's grace, I am saved, and I can say "Halleluiah! All I have is Christ! Halleluiah! Jesus is my life!" Because Christ's death on the cross gave me life, I can say that He is all I have, and He is my life. He is the One who gave me life. I did not conjure that up on my own. I couldn't. I am not intelligent enough to think up something so incredibly unthinkable. But I do know that because of that act of love and mercy, the third verse of this song should be true in my life: "Father, use my ransomed life in any way You choose." Christ saved me and bought me; therefore, He owns me. My life is His to use in any way He desires to use it. But He still gives me the power to choose how I want to live my life: do I want to live my life my way, or am I going to give over control to Him and let Him lead? That is a question I find myself asking very often. How thankful am I that Christ saved me? Am I thankful enough to give Him my life? Are you?

~ Stephanie ~ 
    *Phil. 3:13-14*

Greatness of God...day 5!

Hey all! So sorry I didn't get to post my greatness of God verse yesterday. I got really busy, and then by the time I realized it, it was time to get to bed. This happened the past two days! Anyways, I am posting today, and the verse for today really got to me.

Ephesians 5:18-21 - "And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." 

Okay. So at first, I saw verse 18 and said to myself "So I am supposed to be filled with the Spirit. I know that." But then I kept reading, and Paul tells us HOW to do that! He tells us how to be filled with the Spirit: 1.) We are to speak truth to ourselves via scripture or God-honoring music. This is a good one because when I am feeling down and not all that great spiritually, if I start singing a song, it always lifts my spirit. Then Paul tells us the second thing: 2.) We are to always be giving thanks to the Lord in EVERYTHING. Wow. Now this one is a little more difficult. I am supposed to thank God for everything that comes into my life? Yep! I sure am! Then Paul tells us the third thing: 3.) We are to submit to our brothers and sisters in Christ. Wow. This is not a walk in the park either. I am not the most submissive person ever, so this is a hard one for me to grasp. This doesn't just mean that I am supposed to do anything and everything that anyone tells me to do, although I am to prefer others in love. I am simply to prefer others in love. I am to think selflessly and to give of myself and my time to help others. That is my way of being "submissive." Anyway, this was a challenge to me, and I hope it is to you all as well! Have a great day! Love you all!


~ Stephanie ~  
    *Phil. 3:13-14*

Greatness of God...day 4!

Well, here we are...day 4! I am still very much loving this challenge :) Okay. Here we go.

Ephesians 5:15-17 - "See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is."

These verses were a challenge to me because at first when I read verse 15, I was thinking "Okay. I am not supposed to conduct myself in a foolish manner. I don't do that too much. I guess I am okay with this one." Then I kept reading, and it said "as wise, REDEEMING THE TIME, because the days are evil. Wow. That was a complete slap in the face. How am I spending my time, and what am I spending it on? If I have an hour or even just a half hour of free time, what do I send that time doing? I should be using my time wisely, because it is not really even my time at all. It is God's time that He has given me to use to glorify Him. A lot of times, when I have a few minutes here or there to do whatever, I will go straight to my computer and check my email or facebook. Why do I do that? What is important to me? If God's Word is important to me, then I will spend as much time as I can in it. I won't go first straight to my computer. I will first go straight to my Bible to allow God to teach me something new that I need for the rest of that day. That is my challenge to you today: what are you spending your time on? Really think about it and take a look. I was rebuked and challenged by it. You probably will be too. Love you all!
 

~ Stephanie ~ 
    *Phil. 3:13-14*

All Things New - A Story PART 4 - Purity Challenge

Surprise encounter

     

     On school Monday morning, my backpack isn't the only thing that's lighter. I really do feel better. It's as if God spoke through Ellie at the Valentine's banquet. That message was totally for me.

     I meet up with Kelsey at the lockers and pull out my English notebook.

  

   "Hey, Jordan."

     I turn to find Devin Terrell, looking amazingly beautiful and oozing charm from his every pore.

  

   I'm so over that.

    

 "Hey." I shut my locker and step around him.

    

 "Wait---."  His hand reaches for my shoulder. "Can't we talk?"

    

 I stop and look into his face. "About?"

    

 "I've missed you." a smile hangs on his lips. "I thought we might hang out tonight or something."

   

  I stare into his chocolate brown eyes and see the cute boy I fell for the last few months. "Devin, I---."

     His arms draw me in closer. " We can hang-out at my house. Watch a movie."

   

    "No."

   

     He blinks. "What?"

    Wow. That felt pretty good. "I said no."

    "Are you busy tonight?"

    I start to make up something but change my mind. "Actually I don't have a single thing to do. But even if I did, I don't think 'be a doormat for Devin' would be anywhere on my agenda."

    

    He stands there, mouth wide open.

   "This weekend I was reminded I can have a crown of beauty." I stare him down. "What can You give me?"

    He says nothing.

    "That's what I thought." And I walk away. Slipping my hand into my pocket, I pull out a silver ring. The same one I tossed in the trash a few weeks ago. It slides onto my finger, shining once again. For me, for God and for the guy I'm going to wait for.

    

And his name ain't Devin.

Written by: Jenny B. Jones

Brio mag 2009

The End

Hope you guys enjoyed the story! God bless!

~ Stephanie ~
    *Phil. 3:13-14*

Greatness of God...day 3!

Hey guys! So it is day three of my "Greatness of God" challenge. I really am loving this challenge because it helps me to focus on the greatness of my God, and on His Word. on the hardest days when I feel like nothing will go right, I can always fall back on God's Word. Well, here we go with day three!

Psalm 16:8,11 - "I have set the Lord always before me: because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Thou[God] wilt shew me the path of life: in Thy presence is fullness of joy; at Thy right hand there are pleasures forevermore."

So I absolutely LOVE these verses! They are always such an encouragement to me. Today I wanted to give you guys a verse that would be an encouragement to you rather than simple a challenge because sometimes we need that encouragement when we are having a hard day instead of someone just harping down on us and telling us what to do. Now granted it is a good thing sometimes for us to be told what to do, but it is sometimes more discouraging to us rather than a help. Anyway, this verse is an encouragement to me every time I read it. When I put God first, I don't have to worry about being tossed about by trials or by circumstances, because I am anchored in the Lord, and He never changes. When I am in that place of dependence on Him rather than on myself or other people, then I can have true joy! He has that joy and is right there waiting for me to simply surrender to Him and place my dependence on Him. What am I waiting for? I want to just run to Him right away and just rest in His arms. But my stubborn pride holds me back. I don't want God to control me life, who would? I mean, really? You want me to let some God whom I have never met control my life and tell me what to do? Well, yes. That is my"reasonable service" as stated in Romans 12:1. So I guess my challenge to those of you who are reading this would be to simply surrender yourself to the love and power of the Lord, and let Him control your life. You won't have that true joy and peace until you do! Love you all!


~ Stephanie ~ 
    *Phil. 3:13-14*

All Things New - A Story PART 3 - Purity Challenge

A Different Message 

“Hey, Guys. Happy Valentines Day!” Her voice is soft but confident.

We all mumble something in reply. Personally I think it’s the dumbest holiday ever created. A day to celebrate love? Look where “love” got me---a broken heart and an arthritic hand from gripping my phone 24 hours a day.

‘My name is Ellie. And tonight I want to talk about love.”

Kelsey and I share a grin. Here we go again.

“I grew up in a youth group a lot like this,” the girl says. “And I know—every year you get to hear someone go on and on about how love is pure, love is patient, and love is kind.”

The guy next to me mumbles a disgruntled amen.

The speaker smiles and continues. “Or maybe how true love waits? Sound familiar?” We all nod our heads. “Or how a guys should treat a girl. How a girl should be Virtuous.”

Yeah, I probably should have taken better notes.

“I don’t want to talk about any of that.” Ellie looks around the room, and for a second I feel her eyes upon me. “All of those things are important, but tonight God laid it on my heart to tell you—you have to love yourself.” She smiles broadly. “How can you love someone else if you don’t even love yourself? There are some of you tonight who don’t like the way you look, the way you act, or maybe you don’t like the way you’ve become. But you know what?”

I find myself leaning in closer.

“God wants to turn your mourning into laughter. He want to trade your shame for joy.” Ellie opens her Bible. “In Isaiah it says he wants to comfort those who mourn. He wants to give you a crown of beauty...Instead of ashes. Beautiful clothes instead of despair.”

I feel a tear slip down my cheek and quickly brush it away. Lady, you don’t know where I’ve been. I don’t really think God wants to give me a pat on the back and a new sparkly, tiara.

“ A long time ago I thought my value was dependent of other people,” Ellie says. “I wanted to please others so badly. I would put everyone else before me---and before God. I wasn’t a bad person. I went to church. I read my Bible. I prayed. But . . . I made mistakes. Can anyone here relate to that at all?”

Me, sister, Right here.

“I got to where I couldn’t even talk to God anymore. I was so disappointed in myself for choices I had made. But you know what? In this same verse, it says that God wants to take away all that despair and ugliness and make us like righteous trees—trees He has planted himself to glorify Him. How cool is that?”

God wants to make me a tree? Um, kinda uncool, actually.

“Do you get it?” Ellie takes the microphone and walks closer to us. “God’s saying, ‘I see that hurt your trying to hide. And I understand. And I’m here to forgive.’ He says, ‘ You know that shame and ugliness you’ve been carrying around? I want to take that off your hands. And in return...Here’s some joy and beauty. Yours for the asking, so you can glorify me.’ “

I clench and unclench the napkin in my hands.

God how is it possible You can see what I’ve done and still just stand there with open arms? I want to give You all this junk. I want my happiness back. I made a huge mistake. But if You’re really willing to take that pain for me, You can totally have it. I don’t want to be the girl that is checking for a stupid guys text every five seconds.

The speaker continues for another 20 minutes, but I just stare toward the floor and finish my one-on-one with God.

Lord, I’m sorry for messing up. Will you forgive me? Thank you for reminding me that You’re going to love me anyway, and I can start new. I don’t want to keep going on like this. You can have my guilt, my tears, my shame. I don’t think I’m going to need them anymore.

Check tomorrow for part 4.....

~ Stephanie ~ 
    *Phil. 3:13-14*

Greatness of God...day 2!

Ok guys. Here is today's verse. This verse really challenged me today as our Adult Sunday School classes have been studying through the book of Job. We just finished the book today, and are moving on, but it has been a fantastic study!

Job 42:2, 6 - "I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee.Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes."

Wow. These verses were a smack in the face this morning. When I see the greatness of my God, what is my response? Or do I ever see God's greatness? If not, that is a problem because His Word is packed full of truths about Him! My response to the greatness of God should be humility and repentance if there is sin in my life that I know about. I know for a fact that I do not always respond this way to a revelation of God's character, but I want to. I am going to strive to fill my mind with truth about my GREAT God so that I will be humble and so that I can keep my focus on Him. Hope this was an encouragement to you all!


~ Stephanie ~
    *Phil. 3:13-14*

All Things New - A Story PART 2 - Purity Challenge

Tough Entrance

When I walk into the youth building of the church, I feel like I have a big sign on my forehead. One that lists every sin, even the ones I thought about committing this year.

Kelsey squeals when she sees me. “ I knew you’d come!” She pulls me into a tight hug and leads me to one of the decorated tables.

I take my seat beside Kelsey and give a half-hearted wave to the youth pastor across the room. Long time no see.

Without even thinking I reach into my purse and check my phone. No call. No text.

The thing is, I really loved this guy. Or I sort of did. And I thought he really cared for me. But I guess I wouldn’t be myself on Valentine’s Day if he did. Unless he’s playing hard to get. And if that’s the case he’s doing a fabulous job.

The youth pastor leads us in prayer and blesses the meal. I make small talk with those around me as I eat my chicken and potatoes. It’s everything I can do not to text Devin again. How could he just use me and then…nothing? No goodbye, no e-mail, not even a paltry, “I’ve been busy.”

And whom can I tell? Kelsey? She’d be so disappointed in me. I don’t even want to think about her reaction. And God?

Hey, God, you know how you tell us in the bible to save sex for marriage…Um, kinda messed that up. But now that I’ve totally ticked you off, I’d like some help and support, please!

Right, not happening.

Sometime later I push away my chocolate cheesecake with a groan. I can’t eat another bite. The dessert alone might of made it worth coming tonight, though I have to hold a eye roll as the guest speaker takes the podium. Every year we do the same thing---dinner, some one comes and yammers about the true meaning of love, followed by 45 minutes of awkward mingling.

I rest my napkin in my lap as a petite blonde girl introduces herself. She looks a few years older then I. Maybe college age.

Check tomorrow for part 3....

~ Stephanie ~ 
    *Phil. 3:13-14*

New Posting Idea

Okay. I have been posting kind of often lately, but I am going to be doing something different for the next few weeks before school starts. Every day(beginning today), I am going to post a verse that has stuck out to me that day and what that verse means to me. The purpose in doing this is to point those of you who are reading my blog to my GREAT and AMAZING God and His Word. I hope this will be an encouragement to all of you! I love you and I am praying for you! If there is ever anything you would like me to pray for specifically, feel free to let me know, and I will definitely join with you in prayer.

Today's verse is actually two verses.

Ephesians 5:1-2 - "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

This verse means a lot to me because as I have been studying through Ephesians lately, there have been a lot of things that have hit me really hard. Some of them things I need to change, and some of them things I need to continue. They have been a challenge to me nonetheless. In Ephesians chapter 4 verse...I believe 21...Paul gives the Ephesian believers the first half of a conditional statement: (in my own words) "if you have been taught the right things from Christ," Then Paul goes on in the rest of chapter 4 to list the things that these believers have been taught. But he doesn't give the second half of the conditional statement. Then we get to chapter 5. Paul begins chapter five with the two verses I posted above. This, I believe, is the second half of the conditional statement. So, basically, Paul is telling them: (again, paraphrasing in my own words) "if you have been taught the right things from Christ, then follow Him by doing them!" Then I got to thinking about that word "if." Paul does not use this word "if" in the way we would use it in modern days. The meaning of this word "if" is "since." So, again paraphrasing, "SINCE you HAVE learned the right things from Christ, follow Him by doing them and loving others!" There is no room for excuses, and there is no way out of this. We cannot use the excuse that we have not been taught. That is not legitimate. I used to use that excuse in school "I didn't know I had to do that for homework, teacher." In this context, there is no "if" you have heard it. Paul says that you HAVE heard it and been taught. The issue now is are you going to obey it? That is my challenge to you today. Obey the truth you have been given in God's Word, and when God reveals something to you, don't excuse yourself from doing it by saying you didn't know: You HAVE been taught, and you DO know! Have a great day in the Lord's house worshiping Him tomorrow!

~ Stephanie ~

   *Phil. 3:13-14*

 

All Things New - A Story PART 1 - Purity Challenge

All Things New~ Second chances are NOT over-rated

A Valentine Story~ By Jenny B. Jones 

I check my phone for a text message or missed call. That would be the millionth time today. The count would be higher, but I took a short break for lunch.

I stare at the ceiling and sigh as my mom sweeps into my room.

“Look what I found in the bottom of the trash can.” She holds up a small silver ring and smiles. “That was close, huh?”

With a laundry basket on her hip, Mom places the ring on my bedside table, runs her hand over my hair and disappears.

I stare at the silver object until it’s a blur in my vision.

This ring didn’t accidentally walk to the trashcan. It didn’t accidentally fall into the trashcan. O threw it in there. Weeks ago. Though obviously not very well.

There seem to be a lot of things I don’t succeed at. Like boys. And relationships. And commitments. And that whole purity business.

My name is Jordan Spencer, and the only thing I do well these days is make mistakes. And for some mistakes, there’s no going back. Putting that Purity ring back on my hand will not make things better, will not erase the events of my sophomore year. Won’t erase the pain.

My phone trills, and I answer without checking the display. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me.”

My hearts sinks at the voice of my best friend, Kelsey. When am I going to get it in my head that Devin Terrell is not going to call?

“It’s the youth groups Valentine’s Day banquet tonight. You should come with me." I’d rather eat nails. “Thanks, but I have other plans.” Like watching “Gilmore Girls” reruns and feeding my goldfish.

“Jordan, come on. You haven’t been in youth group like all year. Are you honestly going to sit at home on Friday night and wait for what’s his name to call? It’s 4:00pm. Do you really want to be that girl who desperately agrees to a last-minute date?”

Um, yeah. I do. “I’m bust Kelsey, OK?” On top of everything else I have going on, I need to squeeze in some more time to feel sorry for myself. And frankly, that’s exhausting.

My best friends laugh is hollow. “You’ve changed, you know? You went from wanting to conquer the world to spending all your time chasing this guy.”

“I’m not sitting around waiting for him.” I pause, expecting a lightning bolt to crack through my roof and strike me for the lie.

“Prove it then. Come to the Valentine’s banquet with me. We’ll eat, we’ll talk, then totally OD on some chocolate.”

I laugh despite it all. “So tempting.”

And in a way it is. I used to go to the banquet every year and all the other youth group events at the church. But lately, I’ve kinda dropped out. And I can’t say that going my own way has been a ragging success.

“If Devin Terrell calls, it would serve him right to find out you already have plans,” Kelsey says.

And this gets me. She’s right. Maybe if he finds out I went out tonight and didn’t wait around for him, he’d be jealous.

“Kels, I’ll see you there.”

“And you’ll hang-out? And eat chocolate until we barf? And----“

“Goodbye.” I laugh and hang up.

Check tomorrow for part 2...

~ Stephanie ~

   *Phil. 3:13-14*

ALL things??

"I can do ALL things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Phil. 4:13) This verse really struck me today. Do I live my life with this kind of mindset? So many times I find myself giving up or not believing that something is going to happen, but in all reality, this verse is true - I can do ANYTHING the Lord wants me to do IF and only if I am doing it in and through the power of Christ. I tend to look at circumstances or things in my life that I wanted to get done and ask myself "why didn't that get done? Philippians 4:13 says I can do all things through Christ! How come I couldn't do this particular thing?" When those times come, I have to remember the conditions of this promise: 1.) This is what God wants me to do, and 2.) I am doing it in Christ's strength and not mine. Many times I can look back on things that I couldn't accomplish, and if I was honest with myself, I would say that I was not depending on Christ's strength to get them done. I thought I could do them in my own strength without God's help, but I was sadly mistaken! I want this to be a challenge to all of you - whose strength are you relying on today, yours or Christ's?

~ Stephanie ~

   *Phil. 3:13-14*

Truth - Definition and Action

TRUTH. What is it, and why should I focus on it? Well, my friend, that is a good question. Truth, simply stated by Dictionary.com, is, "the true or actual state of a matter." And what does God's Word say about truth? What is God's definition of truth? Well, John 17:17 says, "Sanctify them through Thy truth, Thy Word is truth." This is Christ speaking to God the Father. So, obviously, God says that His Word, the Bible, is the truth. It is the only thing that never changes other than God. So then, now that I know what the truth is, why should I focus on it? Well, the first reason that we should focus on truth is that we, as believers, are being sanctified through the truth. How, then, can we be sanctified without the truth? Another reason to focus on truth is that the truth will "set us free." (John 8:32) John 8:31-32 says, "If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." So, the truth of God's Word makes me free. Free from what? Why, sin, of course! The next few verses go on to explain how we are slaves to sin, but when the truth comes in and we believe it, we are set free from the slavery of sin! What an awesome promise! If I claim the truth of God's Word, I can be free from my sin! I am free from not only past sin, but also present and future sin as well. That is an incredible promise to claim. A third reason to meditate and focus on truth is because it protects us in our fight against Satan and against sin. Psalm 91:4 says, "He [God] shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler." So God's Word is what protects us from the fiery darts of Satan! If I am not hiding God's truth in my heart, then how can I fight against Satan? Even Christ, when He was in the wilderness, used scripture to fight against Satan when Satan was trying to tempt Christ. If Christ, my ultimate example and perfect man, used the truth of God's Word to fight temptation, how much more should I, being a sinful human being, use God's truth to fight my temptations? I would venture to say that I should! But how can I meditate on God's truth and use it in my spiritual battles unless it is in my heart? I have to be meditating on and memorizing God's Word if I am going to be able to just pull it out and use it! When was the last time you, on your own volition, determined to put to memory a passage of scripture and then did it? Has it been a while? Are you losing the battle against sin? Maybe that is why you have been struggling to win! I know I am not perfect either, and I need to memorize more of God's Word as well, so I have made a commitment of scripture memory that I intend to follow through with. I would encourage everyone who reads this blog to consider choosing a passage, even if it is a short one at first, and putting it to memory. Give yourself a time limit. Tell your self, "self, you are going to have this passage memorized by _____ time." And then do it! Push yourself to commit the Word of God to memory so you can use it to fight!

~ Psalm 86:11 "Teach me thy way, O LORD; I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to fear thy name." ~ 

~ Stephanie ~

   *Phil. 3:13-14*

What is My Desire? (Psalm 119:57-72)

This passage has been a huge challenge to me lately, so I thought I would share it with you guys. This section of verses starts and ends with the Psalmist's desire - God and His Word. That for one thing made me stop and ask myself - "What is my desire? Do I desire the Lord? Is He the one Who satisfies my deepest longings?" God is the ONLY one Who can satisfy me! He is the only one Who can give me TRUE joy! So why then do I go around trying to make other people or things satisfy me? That doesn't even make sense? It is my sinful self that causes me to do that. That is why I have to, each day, crucify my flesh and submit to God's leading and control in my life. Then the Psalmist goes on in verses 58 through 64 to list the things that he has done and how he has been obeying the Lord in every aspect of his life. That was a challenge to me of my actions. Am I always obeying God, or do I try to satisfy myself sometimes and make it look like I am obeying the Lord? In the middle of this section of verses, the Psalmist mentions that he rises at midnight to give thanks to the Lord for His works and righteousness. Is that my character? Will I at any time of the day or night drop what I am doing (even sleeping) to praise the Lord? I normally don't do that! Then in verses 65 through 71 the Psalmist basically presents to us a three-point sermon:
I. Affliction is Good!
II. Affliction Teaches Me Obedience.
III. Affliction Teaches Me God's Word.
In verse 67 the Psalmist says "BEFORE I was afflicted I went astray: BUT..." So affliction is a good thing because it brings me back to the Lord and to His Word. Then in the rest of verse 67 the Psalmist say that "now have I kept Thy Word." This shows that affliction teaches me to obey the Lord. When I am not doing right, I don't just obey God. I want nothing to do with God! Then in verse 68 the Psalmist goes back to the point of affliction being good. God brings affliction, and the Psalmist says "Thou art good, and doest good;" God IS good in His very essence and character! EVERYTHING He does(even bringing trials in my life) is GOOD! Wow. That is a hard reality to accept and grasp. Then in verse 71 the Psalmist says "It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn Thy statutes." He is saying finally that affliction teaches me God's Word. When I am going through a hard time, that is when I tend to be in God's Word the most. I go to the Word for comfort and satisfaction when I am hurting. But when everything is okay, then I have no reason to go to God's Word because I can make it on my own. Then God has to break me and bring a trial in my life to teach me that I need Him and His Word to make it even in the good times. Then in verse 72, the last verse of this section, the Psalmist says that the Word of God is more valuable to him than "thousands of gold and silver." How much does God's Word mean to me? Do I desire it above anything else? That is a strong statement to make. I know that I cannot make it. Anyway, I hope this is an encouragement and even a challenge to everyone who reads it. Let God be everything in your life, and He will satisfy the desires of your heart!


~"Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart." (Psalm 37:4)~

~ Stephanie ~

   *Phil. 3:13-14*

"The Glory Shall Be all Your Own, the Blessing Shall Be Ours"

These are some of the words to a song that my choir here at home sings. Today for some reason these words came to my mind. Is everything I do done for the glory of God? Wow. What a confronting question. I immediately thought "no. Of course not. No one is perfect, so not everything is done for His glory." Then I was struck by the thought that maybe it should be! Just because I am not perfect being a simple human being, does not mean that I should not strive to be like Christ - PERFECT. Christ was perfect in every aspect of life. He respected His parents and obeyed them, He did what was right in EVERY situation, He loved other people even when they hated Him. I am very far from that. I do not always respond correctly in every situation, I do not always respect and obey my mom perfectly, and I certainly find it hard to love other people when they do not like me or are mean to me. This was a challenging thought. "Whether therefore ye eat or drink or WHATSOEVER ye do, do all to the glory of God." No matter what I am doing, and no matter who I am doing something for, my ultimate goal should be the glory of God. I should not be doing things to make myself look good. I should not do things so that other people will praise me. I should do everything so that people will look at what I do and say "God did that. There is no way she did that on her own." I know that I cannot do anything on my own, but am I living like that is true? May God get all the glory in my life!

"You are worthy to be praised with my every thought and deed! Oh great God of highest Heaven, glorify Your name through me!"

~ Stephanie ~

   *Phil. 3:13-14*

"Come unto me...and I will give you rest!" (Matthew 11:28-30)

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)

These verses have meant a lot to me lately and I have been extremely challenged by realizing what they mean, so I thought I would share with you what I have learned! :)

"Come unto me..." This is obviously a command to come to Christ. ;)

"...all ye that labour..." This was a new one for me. The word here "labour" means overworked. Having too much to do. Who in college doesn't? lol

"...and are heavy laden..." This was also something I never realized. "Heavy laden" means overburdened. Having a lot of burdens and maybe not knowing what to do about some of them. This happens to me A LOT!

"...and I will give you rest." Okay. So if those who are overworked and overburdened come to Christ, He will give them rest. This makes sense, but sometimes I just take that part of the passage and when I don't experience that rest, then I get upset with God and wonder why I have not gotten rest. But I have to keep reading.

"Take my yoke upon you..." Okay. Stop for a second. What is a yoke? I looked up what this is, and it is the wooden instrument placed around an ox's neck to let him work and plow fields. But these are not light things.  They are heavy. And in Bible times, each yoke was made to fit one specific ox. If the ox tried to wear a different yoke, it would be uncomfortable to work in - either too heavy or too tight, etc. So I am supposed to take on CHRIST'S yoke? But I already have my own yoke! That would make my yoke heavier, wouldn't it? Read on...

"...and learn of me..." So I am supposed to learn from Christ. But learn what? Keep reading! :)

"...for I am meek..." This word meek has the implication of humility and being under control. I am supposed to be humble and controlled by God's Spirit just like Christ!

"...and lowly in heart..." The words lowly in heart mean in this context humble and controlled as well. So again, I am to be humble and controlled by the Spirit. But what does this have to do with yokes and burdens and work? Well, one thing I realized was that I, in my pride and selfishness wanted to hold onto my yoke and to decide which yoke to put on, when Christ was, the whole time, trying to get me to put His yoke on. He is like the farmer who made the yoke for the ox, and the dumb ox says "I don't want that yoke. I want this one!(the one for the elephant)" That is dumb! The yoke for the elephant will be much too heavy for the ox to wear and work with. And the farmer knew that and made a yoke specifically for that ox just like Christ made a burden and life just for me. I have to simply humble myself and take His yoke. Then it occurred to me: how will I find have rest if I still have a yoke around my neck? Well, Christ says it is His yoke. So...if it is His yoke, isn't He wearing it? Yes, and no. He is helping me to bear it. He is right there with me helping me along. THAT is why I can rest.

"...and ye shall find rest unto your souls." "Find" This word struck me. I am not going to get it for myself. It will be given to me in the right time - when I am submitted.

"For my yoke is easy..." This word easy means bearable. Not hard.

"...and my burden is light." This word light means easy to be beared or not heavy.These two phrases seem like a paradox. A yoke being easy and light? That doesn't make sense. But it does in this context. If my burden seems to heavy it is because I am not taking on His yoke, but I have taken back my own yoke, and I am trying to bear it on my own. In Bible times a farmer would yoke a new ox to an older and stronger ox to help it to bear the yoke. That is what Christ does when we take His yoke. He is the older and stronger and wiser one who is bearing the heavy weight for us making it "bearable."

This passage was such a rebuke to me! Am I resting in Him? Who's yoke am I trying to bear? Do my burdens seem too heavy to bear? Chances are, I am trying to do things my way and in my strength. WRONG CHOICE! I cannot do anything in my own strength. I DESPERATELY need Him to help me! I hope this was also an encouragement and maybe a challenge to you as well. If you would like to know more about this, or have any questions about this, feel free to leave a comment and ask! I am always open to questions! :)

~ Stephanie ~

   *Phil. 3:13-14*

God is good...all the time??

"God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good." My friend and I say this to each other all the time especially when we are having an exceptionally hard day. But do I live it? Is God really good to me all the time? Why is it that I can be at Northland, and everything is good, and God is good, and then I get home and everything falls apart? Is God only God at Northland? Is He only God while I am surrounded by godly friends who encourage me? Is He only God when I am submersed in His Word and learning a lot about His Word? Why do I slip back to these places where I am struggling to believe and hold on to what I know? Why can I not just get over it and believe God? I am so human! I am so amazed by my lack of trust in God! Why can I not just trust Him like I should? Why can I not just obey Him? Why can I not just trust what He says to be true? WHY? I don't have answers to these questions. All I know is that I know all the right things to say and to do. I know that God is true. I know that His Word is true. I know that I cannot run forever. But why do I keep running? I need to stop running and face my problems head on. But why am I not doing that? I cannot run forever. Eventually it will catch up with me.

~ Stephanie ~

   *Phil. 3:13-14*

Broken

Broken...what does it really mean? According to Dictionary.com broken means "reduced to fragments; fragmented. Ruptured, torn, fractured." Wow...this struck me as I read the meaning. Have I been broken? Do I become broken over my sin? What does it take to break me? Once broken, how do you put back the pieces? How do you use something that is broken? How can a potter use something that is broken? These are questions that I have asked myself over and over. My life as a vessel has been broken over and over, and often of my own doing. Many times the potter has to break us so He CAN use us. If He tried to use or sell an ugly vessel, that would not go very well. So He has to break the vessel so He can remake it into something better. So being broken IS a good thing! I often look at being broken as something that is unpleasant, painful and not good, but sometimes being broken is the best thing for me. If I continue to live unbroken, then I will continue to live as an ugly vessel that cannot be used. There is only one rational response to this knowledge: submission. If I submit to God's breaking, then He can break me and make me more beautiful for Him. Whereas if i resist His breaking, it only makes the breaking even more painful. It seems to make sense: submit to God's process of breaking, and it won't be as painful. So then why is it so hard to do just that: submit? Why do I resist God's breaking? Why do I fight something that I know will be good for me in the end? There is only one answer; pride. Me in my stubborn pride just won't let go. I don't want the discomfort even though I know the end will be so worth it. I would rather be in my sin and be comfortable "for a season," than to be broken now and experience the forgiveness and peace of God. Honestly, that is stupid! And I can only say that because I have done it so many times. It is hard not to resist pain. It is hard to just let the pain come for now and keep my mind focused on the "eternal weight of glory." Lord, break me and help me to yield to Your breaking. "Make me as clay in the Potter's hands."

"Over and over He molds and He makes me. Into His likeness, He fashions the clay. A vessel of mercy I am today all because Jesus did not throw the clay away."


Thank You, Lord, for not throwing this piece of clay away. Thank You for not giving up on me when I failed You so much.

~ Stephanie ~

   *Phil. 3:13-14*

"Trust in the Lord, and do good..."

Ok. So I haven't posted anything in a while. I guess it's just because I have had so much going on that I haven't felt like posting. The past couple of weeks God has really been pounding me with the struggle of trusting Him and being satisfied with Him. This is such a hard concept for me to grasp. Many people say that the image that your father has in your eyes affects the way you view God. That is so true! When I was little my dad left. He doesn't live with us, and he many times does not really care. There are so many times when this is the way I view God. I view Him as a God who is there, but doesn't care. He doesn't really love me. I know down in my heart that this is not true, but sometimes I get my focus off of the truth and I start focusing on my circumstances and on myself and I lose sight of who God really is. He is a good and loving God. He is in control, and He knows what He is doing. This week has really taught me this, and there is a song that has really been helping me keep my focus:

O God, my Joy, You reign above
In glorious splendor and beauty.
Your Word has drawn my heart to love
The awesome sight of Your glory.
Your blazing light and gospel grace
Shine brightly from my Savior's face.
No other wonder would I see
Than Christ enthroned in His glory.


Sustained by joy in trial and pain,
I trust Your wisdom and mercy.
Through suffering that Your love ordains,
More like Your Son You will make me.
For Christ embraced the cross of shame
Beholding glorious joys to come.
Oh, give me faith like His to see
That suffering lifts me to glory.

Compelled by joy I fight the sin
That turns my gaze from Your glory.
Your Holy Spirit dwells within.
His presence arms me for vic'try.
Let death and hell against me rise.
Through death I'll gain eternal joys.
All powers of hell will bend the knee
Before my great King of Glory!

This song has been such an encouragement to me through the past weeks. Just knowing and coming to grips with the fact that God is working everything out for my good and for His glory; knowing that this is happening in my life to grow me and to change me; knowing that God is making me more like His Son. That has been a great help. I hope this is an encouragement to you guys. I know it has been for me.


"And we know that ALL things work together for GOOD to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." ~ Romans 8:28

~ Stephanie ~

   *Phil. 3:13-14*

Calvary Came Through

This is just a song that my choir here at home sings. It is basically the story of my life(well, part of it, anyway).

Through days of hurt and pain
My heart cried out, "All is vain!"
I lost all my will to live.
Too many times I tried;
Too many times I failed;
And it only brought tears and shame.
Then I saw that old Cross
Where I won through His loss;
And I knew one more time--
There His strength became mine!

That's when Calvary came through once again:
When I lost all my courage to win.
Just when I thought I'd been defeated
The Cross was all I needed.
That's when Calvary came through once again.

From the stable to the grave
My Savior gave and He gave
His life as a final price.
Now I cherish that old tree
Where I found victory:
Conquering hell and our foes,
Praise His name He arose!

That's when Calvary came through once again:
When I lost all my courage to win.
Just when I thought I'd been defeated
The Cross was all I needed.
That's when Calvary came through once again.
Calvary came through once again!

I have been to the point in my life where this song means so much to me. There have been times in my life where I have just wanted to give up: I was done. I was tired of struggling with my sin; I was tired of trying to do right with no success; I was tired of living. But that is when God showed me that, indeed, I can't do this on my own. I can't stop sinning; I can't do right; I can't live for Him; I can't do any of these things without Him. But through Him I can do all things. But it has to be in His strength. Not my strength. My strength is weak. I am a weak Christian. I am a weak person in general. But I have learned that when I am weak, then He can be strong. When I am in charge and I can do things on my own, I have no reason to trust Him or to rely on His strength. But when I am to the point where I realize that I can do nothing in myself, that is the place where He can use me and He can mold me and make me into His image.

"Thank you, Lord, for saving my soul! Thank You, Lord, for making me whole. Thank You, Lord, for giving to me Thy great salvation so rich and free."

~ Stephanie ~

   *Phil. 3:13-14*

I want more!

Lord, I want more of You;
I want to know You.
Not just in my head, but in my heart.
I want You to fill me.
I want Your Spirit to control me.
When I am weak,
I want You to be strong.
When I am in pain,
I want to know You are there.
I want my life to be filled with You.
When other people see me,
I want them to see You.
I want to be less me and more You.
I want You to be my heart's only desire.
I want to love You more than anyone or anything else.
I want life to be about You not me.
But I can't do that on my own.
My flesh is so bent to sinning and desiring other things.
I want to be rid of this sinful flesh! I want it no longer!
Lord, break me of myself.
I can't do this on my own!
I can't do anything apart from You.
I need You!

"I need Thee every hour most gracious Lord!"

~ Stephanie ~

   *Phil. 3:13-14*

School is out; what am I supposed to do?

Wow! This first semester at NIU has gone by so fast. I have learned a lot of things, met a ton of new people, made some friends that I will never forget, and some that I would rather go ahead and forget. But most importantly I have grown closer to my God. He has taught me so many things this semester, and even more over break. I have never been humbled quite as much or quite as often as this year. God has brought me through many trials and circumstances that, without Him, I would never have made it through. But if there is one thing I have learned, it is this: His grace is sufficient! He will never bring more into my life at one time than I can handle. He wll always be there right next to me guiding me each step of the way. He loves me with an everlasting love. He is "Lord of the ages, God before time." He created everything, and everything was created to bring Him glory. Even humans. Yes, we as humans were created to bring glory to a power greater than ourselves. That is the beauty of it all! Life is not all about me; it's not all about my friends; it's not all about the movie stars; it's about God! He wants, deserves, and will get all of me; I can simply refuse and reject him, or I can embrace His love for me and live for Him. It's my choice. I love and serve Him because I want to, not because I have to. The best thing about this year has got to be the fact that this is the year that the Lord brought me to a saving knowledge of Him. He is so gracious to do that for me after so many years of me rejecting Him and living life the way I wanted to. I love my Savior more than ever, and this week, on Monday morning, I gave my life to Him. I want Him to have all of me. Nothing more, nothing less. I surrender all.

"I surrender all. I surrender all. All to Thee, my blessed Savior, I surrender all!"

~ Stephanie ~

   *Phil. 3:13-14*