Calvary Came Through

This is just a song that my choir here at home sings. It is basically the story of my life(well, part of it, anyway).

Through days of hurt and pain
My heart cried out, "All is vain!"
I lost all my will to live.
Too many times I tried;
Too many times I failed;
And it only brought tears and shame.
Then I saw that old Cross
Where I won through His loss;
And I knew one more time--
There His strength became mine!

That's when Calvary came through once again:
When I lost all my courage to win.
Just when I thought I'd been defeated
The Cross was all I needed.
That's when Calvary came through once again.

From the stable to the grave
My Savior gave and He gave
His life as a final price.
Now I cherish that old tree
Where I found victory:
Conquering hell and our foes,
Praise His name He arose!

That's when Calvary came through once again:
When I lost all my courage to win.
Just when I thought I'd been defeated
The Cross was all I needed.
That's when Calvary came through once again.
Calvary came through once again!

I have been to the point in my life where this song means so much to me. There have been times in my life where I have just wanted to give up: I was done. I was tired of struggling with my sin; I was tired of trying to do right with no success; I was tired of living. But that is when God showed me that, indeed, I can't do this on my own. I can't stop sinning; I can't do right; I can't live for Him; I can't do any of these things without Him. But through Him I can do all things. But it has to be in His strength. Not my strength. My strength is weak. I am a weak Christian. I am a weak person in general. But I have learned that when I am weak, then He can be strong. When I am in charge and I can do things on my own, I have no reason to trust Him or to rely on His strength. But when I am to the point where I realize that I can do nothing in myself, that is the place where He can use me and He can mold me and make me into His image.

"Thank you, Lord, for saving my soul! Thank You, Lord, for making me whole. Thank You, Lord, for giving to me Thy great salvation so rich and free."

~ Stephanie ~

   *Phil. 3:13-14*

I want more!

Lord, I want more of You;
I want to know You.
Not just in my head, but in my heart.
I want You to fill me.
I want Your Spirit to control me.
When I am weak,
I want You to be strong.
When I am in pain,
I want to know You are there.
I want my life to be filled with You.
When other people see me,
I want them to see You.
I want to be less me and more You.
I want You to be my heart's only desire.
I want to love You more than anyone or anything else.
I want life to be about You not me.
But I can't do that on my own.
My flesh is so bent to sinning and desiring other things.
I want to be rid of this sinful flesh! I want it no longer!
Lord, break me of myself.
I can't do this on my own!
I can't do anything apart from You.
I need You!

"I need Thee every hour most gracious Lord!"

~ Stephanie ~

   *Phil. 3:13-14*

School is out; what am I supposed to do?

Wow! This first semester at NIU has gone by so fast. I have learned a lot of things, met a ton of new people, made some friends that I will never forget, and some that I would rather go ahead and forget. But most importantly I have grown closer to my God. He has taught me so many things this semester, and even more over break. I have never been humbled quite as much or quite as often as this year. God has brought me through many trials and circumstances that, without Him, I would never have made it through. But if there is one thing I have learned, it is this: His grace is sufficient! He will never bring more into my life at one time than I can handle. He wll always be there right next to me guiding me each step of the way. He loves me with an everlasting love. He is "Lord of the ages, God before time." He created everything, and everything was created to bring Him glory. Even humans. Yes, we as humans were created to bring glory to a power greater than ourselves. That is the beauty of it all! Life is not all about me; it's not all about my friends; it's not all about the movie stars; it's about God! He wants, deserves, and will get all of me; I can simply refuse and reject him, or I can embrace His love for me and live for Him. It's my choice. I love and serve Him because I want to, not because I have to. The best thing about this year has got to be the fact that this is the year that the Lord brought me to a saving knowledge of Him. He is so gracious to do that for me after so many years of me rejecting Him and living life the way I wanted to. I love my Savior more than ever, and this week, on Monday morning, I gave my life to Him. I want Him to have all of me. Nothing more, nothing less. I surrender all.

"I surrender all. I surrender all. All to Thee, my blessed Savior, I surrender all!"

~ Stephanie ~

   *Phil. 3:13-14*