Time

Hey! Sorry it has been so long since I have updated you all with how the Lord has been working in my heart and life this summer! Since my last post, SO many things have happened, some good, and some maybe not so much. In general, I have just been REALLY busy! 

I cannot believe that the summer is over half-way done! I feel like it just started a few days ago! Time flies by so incredibly fast! In the past two and a half months, the Lord has really been breaking me of a lot of things. He has been revealing tendencies in my heart that I didn't even know were there, idols that I had no idea were even idols, and things in my life in general that are not Christlike. It is so hard for me, sometimes, when I am shown an area of my life that does not measure up to God's standards, to simply submit and surrender that area to Him and allow Him to change me and make me more Christlike. I have realized this summer more than ever that I have such a skewed view of God! So often I go through life thinking that my view of Him is fine, but my reactions to circumstances that He brings into my life show that, in reality, my perception of God is WAY off. I know all the right things to say and the right things to do. I know the answers. I was taught well by so many loving and patient individuals. But my focus is not where it should be. When I am going through a trial, I don't turn my gaze and focus on my amazing and loving Savior who brought the circumstance into my life. Instead, I tend to keep my focus on the circumstance and on myself. 

All this to say, the Lord has been hitting me hard this summer with my obvious lack of trust. When trials come into our lives, they are designed by my all-knowing, loving Creator God who would NEVER do anything to me simply to cause me pain. He brings these things to show me my heart and to change that heart to be more like the heart of His Son, Jesus Christ. God is good. He IS good. HE IS GOOD! I know this so well! I have told myself this and so many other truths about God so many times! But when it comes down to crunch time, I forget...or rather I refuse to believe. I refuse to stand fast to what I KNOW to be true simply because it doesn't make sense to ME. How dumb! How foolish of me, a small, insignificant creation, to look at what my magnificent maker is doing in my life and say "this doesn't make sense. You are doing it wrong!" I have been SO convicted especially this past week over my lack of trust and my pride in thinking that I know better than my GOD, Who MADE me, Who SAVED me from my sin, Who LOVES me, and Who knows EVERYTHING. I think I know better than Him? How could I? He is SO much higher than I! He is perfect, and His plan is perfect, and even if it may not make sense to my puny little mind, His mind is WAY higher than mine and it makes perfect sense to Him! Wow. I am so overwhelmed by God's goodness to me and His patience with me. I fail Him so many times, but He is still right at the same place waiting for me to realize my failure, confess it to Him, and come back to Him. What a GOOD GOD! What a LOVING God! What a Savior!